"This is stupid."
Or so my brain told me this morning on my commute. "You don't read that much news, this doesn't make much difference. What are you even trying to do?"
The withdrawal was starting. My own mind was rebelling, making completely contradictory arguments. If I didn't actually read too much news, and it didn't really matter anyway, why did I want to start reading it again?
This definitely has the feel of kicking an addiction. Well, what I imagine kicking an addiction must feel like; I've only really ever had a Coke problem (the fizzy stuff). And although news is similar to junk food, I'd say this addiction has more in common with kicking smoking--it's very visceral. I'm constantly wanting to type "nyt" into my address bar, wait for the autofill, and go to the Times home page, even if I don't really want or need to be there. It's a mindless habit, the comforting white noise humming in the background of my web browsing.
I was able to put down the mental mutiny at first. Work was a bit slower today, offering me more opportunities to miss being able to check headlines. Even that wasn't too bad, though. What did me in was lunch.
I really need to control the automatic reflex I've picked up of looking at the newspaper kiosks on the way into the cafeteria. My first trip for coffee was fine--I was aware of myself and didn't look. Unfortunately, I was rushing to lunch, rushing leads to old habits, and I caught a glimpse of the headline splashed across the page: "GREEK TRAGEDY".
Oh no! What happened? Almost certainly the news has something to do with the flailing Greek government. But what happened? Did the European nations make some important decision? And what effect did it have on the U.S. stock market?
My mind raced with all these questions, none of which had answers that would change how I lived my day-to-day life. And when I thought about it in those terms, I was able to push the curiosity away. For now.
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